A Day for Fathers

"All fathers are invisible in daytime; daytime is ruled by mothers and fathers come out at night. Darkness brings home fathers, with their real, unspeakable power. There is more to fathers than meets the eye. "

-Margaret Atwood

Happy Father's Day to all the fathers out there. I hope your days are filled with family and happiness.

Thank you for all you do for me and our family, Dad. You are a great man and I am proud to have you as my father. I love you.


Namaste

Mmmmmmm.......

..... home-made meatballs and spaghetti. For the first time in Korea.

noodles +

sauce and veggies +

meatballs =

voila!

Makes me miss the Scuderi's a huge amount.

Namaste

A Day for Mothers

"Mothers hold their children's hands for a short while, but their hearts forever."

-Author Unknown

Happy Mother's Day to all the current and soon to be mothers out there. May your day be filled with family, friends, and love because you are the essence of life and so blessed to fill such an important role.

I know I am especially missing the most important woman in the world to me on this day, my mother. I am blessed to have such a wonderful, supportive, and strong woman to look up to. You are amazing. Thankful for you everyday. Love you, Mom.

Namaste

Life is a Balancing Act

Everything in life is a balancing act. We have to balance our careers with our families. Our friends with our relationships. Our head with our heart. Our faith with our doubts. We have to balance eating what we want with exercise. We balance our dreams and our realities. We balance our finances and checkbooks. We balance work and play. We balance our wants and our needs.

One of the hardest things I have found to balance while living abroad is missing life at home with enjoying life in the present. It is always hard because things like holidays, memories, hardships, and joys make me really miss my family and friends at home (and around the world) dearly. It is easy also because my new friends and experiences are beginning to really fulfill my life in the present. Sometimes I catch myself thinking "what would my life be like if I were at home?" It is of course an unavoidable thought; we all do it no matter where we may be, we wonder what life would be like if we were somewhere else. But I have to stop and remind myself that I am not at home. I am here in a foreign land that as strange as it may be is becoming more and more familiar all the time and feeling more and more like home with each passing day.

We all have our own ideas of what home is, but to me home is a place and/or a group of people that you carry in your heart. Even though I consider Korea my home of sorts in the present, I feel like I have lots of different homes in different senses. Crown Point, Indiana will forever be the home of my childhood. Valparaiso, Indiana is the home of my teenage and post college years. Bloomington, Indiana is the home of the best years of my life. Kenya will always feel like home to me in Africa. My family and friends will always be my home wherever they may be. I am doing my best to keep in touch as much as possible and I know it is difficult because of schedules, time changes, and life in general, but I just want you all the know that I love and miss you wherever you may be and think of you more than you know.

Namaste

Mom Visits Korea

I was fortunate enough to have a visitor in Korea this past week. My mom flew the 6,000 miles each way to set foot on Asian soil for her first time and see me after 5 months of conversations through a computer screen. We had an absolutely wonderful week.

Our fun filled, busy week included some of the following highlights:

Korean Folk Village: The Korean Folk Village outside of Yongsin City was somewhere that I had been wanting to visit since I first read about Korea prior to my arrival. Sam, my mom, and I decided to visit the village on Monday for the Lunar New Year holiday. It was a cold, muddy, but clear day. I really had a great time walking around, exploring traditional Korean homes, watching live entertainment of various sorts, eating yummy Korean snacks, and being outdoors away from the city in the fresh air. We listened to traditional Korean musicians play and march and dance. We watched a tight rope walker who must have been at least 65 years old bounce up and down on a tight rope. We experienced a reenactment of a traditional Korean wedding ceremony complete with procession and all. We marveled at equestrian acrobats as they balanced and hung from horses galloping around an arena. My mom had her second taste of Korean food for lunch; kimchi pancake and bibimbap. (Sam and I thought it best to go easy.) We left the village with muddy shoes, souvenirs, and a better idea of what life was like many many years ago in Korea.

Insadong: I knew that I had to take my mom to Insadong during her visit because she is crazy for hand-made crafts. This little neighborhood in Seoul is a traditional neighborhood that has become a huge tourist attraction. There are many little streets filled with restaurants, tea houses, shops, antiques, crafts, jewelry, pottery, you name it. Our first trip was successful and both my mom and I made some purchases. She liked Insadong so much that we even went back a second time later in the week.

Myeong-dong: I took my mom to one of my favorite shopping meccas in Korea, Myeong-dong. We really had fun checking out some of the Korean fashion and we even hit up some of the high-end stores in the famous Lotte Department Store.

Dr. Fish: I have written about Dr. Fish cafe before and knew I wanted to take my mom there when she visited. We tried both pools this time, one with little fish, and one with 'big' fish. My mom hated the big fish and reluctantly placed her feet in with the small fish for her pedicure.

Seoul Museum of Art: After telling my mom about the Andy Warhol exhibit at the Seoul Museum of Art she wanted to see it for herself. I went back for a second time and enjoyed just as much as the first.

Deoksugung Palace: This palace in downtown Seoul was built in the 1400's and now stands among sky-scrapers and modern architecture in the middle of this huge city. It is known as the "Palace of Virtue and Longevity". Most of the buildings in the palace compound were destroyed, so less than half the original size of the compound remains. My mom and I lucked out and were able to catch the changing of the guards ceremony outside the main gate just as we arrived. We snapped lots of photos and enjoyed walking around the palace grounds.

Namsan Tower: We woke up early one morning and caught a cab up to the cable car at the base of the mountain which Namsan Tower was built. We then took the cable car up to the top, climbed a few stairs, and we were at the base of the tower. After walking around outside we took the elevator inside the tower to the observation room. The 360 degree view of Seoul is fantastic and it was a really bright and clear day so we were able to see quite a ways in each direction. My mom raved about her visit to the tower and thinks everyone who comes to Korea should experience it.

Dongdaemun Market: I figured my mom would appreciate this large market which has a special section for fabrics, yarn, etc. We meandered through the stalls in the fabrics mall and checked out some of the clothing malls too.

Gangnam: Being one of my favorite areas in Seoul, I took my mom to Gangnam a few times. We ate dinner at an Italian restaurant there, shopped in the subway, went to Dr. Fish cafe, and met friends for drinks at Ice Bar.

Jogyesa Temple: On our way to Insadong, we stopped by the temple and I showed my mom around the temple grounds. We snapped some photos and even took a peek inside the temple. There was a service going on and there were many people worshipping. My mom pointed out that it was mostly women we saw there praying. She was impressed with their sense of devotion and the overall peacefulness of the temple grounds.

Dragon Hill Spa: My mom had read about the Korean spas before she came to Korea and wanted to check one out. Spas, or jjimjilbangs, are basically public baths with other pampering services available. We went to Dragon Hill Spa, the largest in Seoul, with seven floors of sport and relaxation. The floors are separate for males and females and spa etiquette requires you to be naked to enter the public baths and saunas. (I tried to enter the sauna with my shorts and tee shirt, but was told an explicate "no" by the woman working there.) I was not comfortable at all getting naked in front of anyone at the spa, so I hung out upstairs while my mom enjoyed the baths downstairs. I just couldn't do it. Maybe it was my embarrassment. Maybe it was my near-impossibility to enjoy spa-type relaxation. Call me a prude, call me lame, call me chicken, I don't care. Hanging out in a room full of naked Korean women nearly scrubbing their skin off while sitting spread eagle looking at themselves in the mirror and little naked Korean kids running around splashing in and out of baths is not my ideal way to spend an afternoon. I can find some other ways to relax; alcohol, for example, always does the trick.

standing in front of some Korean pottery in the Korean Folk Village

playing dress up

mom with a solider outside of Deoksugung Palace

changing of the guard at Deoksugung Palace

our heart at Namsan Tower

mom and I at Namsan Tower

fortress wall at Namsan Tower

takin the bus into Seoul

mom at the Buddhist temple bell tower

having tea in a tea house in Insadong

funky glasses

mom enjoying some shabu shabu

Check out the rest of the photos from our week together here: http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2772895&id=6804238&ref=mf

It was so so good to see my mom. We were really fortunate to get to do and see all we did in one week's time. I feel really blessed that she made the long trip to visit. It was hard to say goodbye when Sunday came.

Namaste

Chuseok Holiday

Chuseok is the Korean Thanksgiving holiday (click on “Chuseok” to learn more) celebrated once each year. It is one of the biggest holidays observed in South Korea. I was fortunate enough to spend Chuseok this year with my vice principal, Mrs. Kim (Audrey), and her family, the Yeo family.

I of course decided to pull another 5 A.M.er Thursday night at a housewarming party with some friends, so I was grumpy and exhausted when I rolled out of bed at 8:30 A.M. Friday morning. Mrs. Kim and her husband and daughter arrived to pick me up an hour later. Mrs. Kim’s daughter, Hyun-jin, introduced herself and I learned that she just got back to Korea this August from studying in Ohio for one year. Her English was excellent and we had no trouble understanding each other.

The first stop of the weekend was Mr. Yeo’s mother’s house to spend time with his family. I was invited in and welcomed very warmly. The family made Korean rice cakes out of ground rice and stuffed with goodies such as beans, chestnuts, and sweet potatoes. I ran some errands and helped while Hyun-jin prepared a spaghetti meal for the family for lunch. Everyone continued to make rice cakes throughout the afternoon and different foods were served while we worked.

kneading the dough for the rice cakes

shaping the rice cakes

rice cakes ready to be boiled

Later that evening we decided to go see a movie. The Korean movie theatre was really similar to ours at home, but everyone has an assigned seat so that each seat can be used. Very efficient. I think that the U.S. could take a hint from Korea on this one. We watched Surrogates and I hardly even noticed the Korean subtitles flashing across the bottom of the screen after a while.

Saturday morning we woke up and headed back to Mr. Yeo’s mother’s house for another gathering. The women were all working hard in the kitchen to prepare foods for the ritual that was about to take place. Hyun-jin explained to me that they set the table a specific way with foods for their ancestors to come and eat. Her father’s father passed away a few years ago, and he was the ancestor that they were showing this great respect to. His photograph was set on the back of the table. Once the table was set precisely everyone stood in lines and faced the table. A candle was lit and there were some knocking done on the table. Then everyone bowed down to their knees and places their forehead to the ground. This was repeated a few more times and then the whole ritual was over.

the offering table

When I first heard that they were going to bow to a photograph of their dead grandfather I thought it sounded a little strange, but as I watched this ritual take place it almost brought tears to my eyes. Everything stopped for those minutes and there was such a sense of spirit and respect in that room it was almost overwhelming. The fact that this culture values their ancestors and those that came before them so much is really amazing. I believe that all cultures of people have their own way of valuing their ancestors, but this specific instance of thankfulness and respect was incredibly moving.

Mr. Yeo’s family gathering reminded me so much of my own family gatherings; relaxed and enjoyable. The cousins were all running around teasing each other and skipping off to play video games. The women were all in the kitchen chatting and cooking. The men were all preparing food and watching T.V.

Mr. Yeo’s mother showed us some of the things that she had knitted by hand. She gave me a scarf to take home with me as a gift. It is really beautiful and I was touched that she had wanted to give me a gift.

Mr. Yeo's mother and I with the scarf she gave me

We said goodbye to the family and moved on to the next stop; Mrs. Kim’s parents’ house. (Side note: When I say house, what I really mean is apartment. No one in or around Seoul lives in a house. There is no space. 1/3 of Korea’s population lives in Seoul or it’s suburbs. The Korean countryside is extremely rural with virtually no public transportation or stores, therefore, a large number of people live in this huge urban city.) Her parents were very welcoming and her older brother and his wife and daughter were there as well. Hyun-jin’s cousin was in second grade and as adorable as can be. She made me a bracelet, sang and danced, and we all played cards. When she opened her mouth to smile her two front teeth were missing. That, and her spunky personality and cute laugh reminded me so much of my little cousin, Olivia.

We ate a delicious Korean lunch and visited for a while. Mrs. Kim’s father offered me a bottle of Korean alcohol to take home along with a hand written note translating to something like “Thank you for coming. Best of luck in Korea. Thank you for being here with our family.” I was also given a bag full of rice cakes and other yummy foods to take home with me. Once again, I was extremely touched and grateful.

Korean alcohol

note from Mrs. Kim's father

Mrs. Kim, Mr. Yeo, Hyun-jin, and I drove to visit the Donggureung tombs outside of the city. It was a historic site where numerous kings and queens of the Joseon dynasty were buried. The burial mounds were really high up on top of hills so it was hard to get a good photograph because you are obviously not allowed to climb on top. Walking around the outdoors and breathing in fresh air while learning about Korean history made for a really enjoyable evening.

temple at the tombs

one of the tombs

Sunday morning was Mrs. Kim’s birthday. Mr. Yeo got up and made breakfast for us. He made sandwiches and we had fruit. The sandwiches were very creative- unlike any I have had before. Eggs, bacon, mustard, mayonnaise, pears, and bananas squished between two pieces of bread. Delicious.

In the afternoon Hyun-jin and I went to a neighborhood near her university, Ewha University for Women. There were all kinds of cute little shops, restaurants, bars, etc. We met her friend for lunch and then explored the area. We also took a walk through her campus. It was gorgeous: right in the mountains with lots of trees and beautiful buildings. Hyun-jin is studying Korean music and plays traditional Korean instruments.

Later that evening we met Hyun-jin’s parents at the Seoul Tower. We stood in line, climbed some stairs, and made our way onto a cable lift to take us to the top of the mountain. Once we got up there we saw some different attractions in addition to an awesome view of the city. There was an old temple style building, street vendors with food, and shops. We approached the actual tower and rode an elevator to the observation deck. The 360-degree view of the city was wonderful. I glanced down over all the skyscrapers, bridges, apartment buildings, trees, the Han River, and realized just how expansive this city really is. The view put Chicago’s Sears Tower or Hancock observatories to shame.

Seoul Tower

sunset view of Seoul from the observation deck

For Mrs. Kim’s birthday dinner we ate at a Korean restaurant inside the top of the tower. While we were eating the sun was setting and soon we were able to see a night sky view of the city all around us.

Overall the weekend was amazing. I was so grateful to be invited to spend the Chuseok holiday with a Korean family. I was made to feel right at home. Even though I didn’t understand a large part of the conversations going on around me, I was comfortable. I still felt like I had to be on my best behavior and it was a little exhausting at times trying to remember some of the polite things to say and do, but Hyun-jin was very kind and patient with me. She was my lifeline and interpreter this weekend. I saw a new side of Korean culture and am eager to learn more about these friendly, curious, and respectful people.

I learned I was holding my chopsticks the wrong way and practiced using them correctly all weekend long. I learned that Korean women do not take their husband’s surname. I learned about and tried many new Korean foods including rice cakes, fruits, seaweed, various vegetables, fish, and even cow knee-cap/joint soup. I learned quite a few more Korean phrases. I learned that Korean families are not so different from American families. I learned that there are many cute (and cheap!) clothing and accessory shops here in Seoul and that I might be in trouble once I get paid. I learned how to make a rice cake from scratch. I learned that Koreans don’t say “you’re welcome”, they just bow their head or smile. I learned that even a wandering soul, a foreigner like me, can be made to feel welcomed and appreciated in a country far from home.

Here is the link to my Facebook album for those of you that would like to see some more photos: Chusoek Weekend in SoKo

Namaste